Being fabulous isn‘t free, you know.  You start paying your dues in grade school, when you learn to out-run the bullies. By the time you're a high school senior, you can ace a three-minute mile, sing all the parts to “Company”, administer Naproxen with aplomb and throw a dinner party for twelve inspired by Barbara Hutton.  It‘s just second nature.

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So—sorry, but, at least for today, all the gay is taken.